October is a month most commonly known for its abundance of treats and spooky characters, however it is also the national month of domestic violence awareness. Every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted by a current or ex-significant other, and 1 in 4 men are also assaulted by their partner. While both men and same-sex couples can also be victims of domestic violence, women and children are, by far, the most common victims of domestic abuse with women being 70 times more likely to be killed than men.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month was derived originally from the “Day of Unity” held in October 1981 by the National Coalition Against Violence. The intention of this day was to connect victims and advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and children. As the movement continued to pick up more awareness and momentum the celebratory day soon turned into a week long movement, and later had the whole month of October dedicated to it in 1989.
If you know anyone who may be a victim of domestic abuse, there is relief for victims and protections that can help assure their safety. The Domestic Violence Preventive Act (DVPA) covers violence, threats, harassment, and/or intimidation and works to protect and prevent victims of theses crimes. Victims are urged to apply for an Emergency Protective Order (EPO) a short-term restraining order which would allow victims the time to take further action against their abuser helping them to safely take further action against them which could lead to determinations as to custody, visitation, property control, and even financial support as many victims are often reluctant to report their abuser in fear of losing their children, their home, or because they are financially dependent on the individual who is harming them.
Aside from the DVPA there is also multiple other legislative acts that have aided victims of domestic abuse. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was designed in order to supplement and expand upon existing legislation against domestic violence and has had multiple additions made to them since its passing in 1994, being last revised in 2015. Some of these additions include, but are not limited to; Better resources for rape investigations, better education for college students regarding dating violence and sexual assault, empowers courts to prosecute those who commit acts of domestic violence, and also provides more care and assistance to LGBTQ and Native American victims. VAWA has change the landscape exponentially for those who were previously suffering due to feeble laws that did little to ensure victim safety.
While there are protective acts in place to prevent domestic abuse, many people are not able to use these resources because they may not be aware of the fact that they are in an abusive relationship to begin with. Domestic violence does not have to necessarily be physical in order for it to be considered violent or abusive, some signs include possessive behavior or jealous tendencies, verbal put-downs that belittle the individual, and any violent acts whether they be considered physical, sexual, or emotional. Even if it does not happen often, these are telltale signs of an abusive relationship.
There are long-term consequences of domestic violence that not only affect the individual victim but can also possibly be passed down to their children as well. When an individual experiences abuse from their significant other it completely destroys their self-esteem and can lead to years of healing and make it difficult to trust people or form new relationships. The cycle of abuse can also be passed down to the children. When a child is an a hostile environment and sees abuse within the household, their still-developing brains may believe that such behavior is a healthy form of expressing ones emotions and will carry on this behavior in their own future relationships, continuing the cycle of toxic behavior.
If you believe yourself or a loved one may be in an abusive relationship there are many local safe spaces in which you can get better informed on how to deal with an abusive partner while building relationships with people who have also been through the same tragedy. On October 26th Divine Connections; a group of female domestic abuse survivors are holding their 2nd annual Domestic Violence Conference at the Enterprise Building in San Bernardino, get your tickets fast as there is limited space available and they are filling up quickly. If you have any questions regarding the conference feel free to contact the event’s organizer Melinda Cuellar.